3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
