It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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