I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
