it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
