Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
