I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
