it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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