Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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