We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
