OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Text me some of your sweat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
