I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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