btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
