return my video game
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
