yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
