I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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