My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My dick has a subreddit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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