their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
