I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
