this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
