I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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