You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
