Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
