I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
