Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
