Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
