did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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