he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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