Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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