I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
