I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
