My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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