he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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