someone get that fucking seahorse.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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