Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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