I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
