If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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