I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
