what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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