We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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