sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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