I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
