we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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