is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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