No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
