He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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