I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
