Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
