Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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