is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
