I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
