i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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