it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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