I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
