I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
