So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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