dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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