i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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