Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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