I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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