first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
