i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
