I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
