I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize