I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
